come home...

i know i haven't talked to you for the longest time, i know you're going to leave tomorrow for iraq and i just wanted to tell you to come home. plain. and simple. come back home. I know you will, but a little part of me is afraid you wont. so the only way i can get this out is by writing my thoughts.
i know the last time we ran into each other was weird, it was the first time we hung out since "that day". but throughout these past months we both have grown up especially you. words cannot describe how proud i am of you. i am so grateful for the times we had and the memories to come.
if i can sum up my feelings into 2 words, thank you... thank you not giving me a jacket when i was cold. thanks for running three miles just to surprise me in the morning. thanks for picking me up when we would hangout with the stinkies. thank you for washing my car with me. thank you for getting me in trouble. thank you for letting my brother borrow your Wii. thank you for helping out with Bible study. thank you for chilling with my family and coming to church. thank you for respecting my values and teaching me to be a better person. thank you for always being there.
i know things are a little weird because of what we had, but you were my best friend before anything else... so as a best friend i am asking you to be safe and be on guard!

remember when we first met? it was a Sunday night and Daniel brought you to cotillion practice. when you walked in Kate gave me her look. (you know the look) i didn't know if Daniel told you i was suppose to be your partner but i ended up introducing myself to you. i told you i was your partner and you just said "Umm". LOL. we danced for the first time that night, the dance was hella hard and we tried to keep up with Tita Rose, you were such a LOSER! you were so dedicated to the cotillion practices! i don't think there was a day you missed practice without calling in. man we had so much fun during practices!
LOL. remember the time when Kate saw you feeding some girl a donut? HAHAHA dork. when you were explaining, you were so red. you promised to bring all the girls donuts because you felt bad. LOL. the way Kate was explaining it was hilarious! that was the day we named you jonut. you brought us donuts for the cotillion, you totally clown me for this, but funny thing is i still have the picture of the donuts you brought us.
the same day i noticed your scar, the one shaped like a pineapple. LOL. thats why i started calling you mr. pineapple. man o man ... oh and the pineapple on your phone WOW!- i was so amazed... every time i see a pineapple now i think of you... not cool. when you were gone i tried getting the pooh bear with the pineapple costume. i was so surprised when i got it on the first try, then i wanted to get one for you and got it on the second try. i guess i was lucky huh? i recently took the pineapple pooh bear off my phone and the necklace you gave me, i took it off my rear view mirror. LOL. don't worry i kept it... its in a box with all the letters you wrote.
back to cotillion...
i swear you had a quota for stepping on Bea's toes you needed to step on it at least 5 times during the dance. hahaha. After the cotillion we didn't talk because of a reason that is way to complicated to explain. a few months passed...
when it came to prom. i couldn't imagine myself going with anyone else but you because i mean who would do the running man with me? or the sprinklers? (OH MAN!) you were always a dork and i loved you for it! cause i'm a dork!
we went to your school to ask you remember? me and stinky... i made a puzzle for you that said "PROM?" well we did have plan A but i thought you were going to kill the fishes that i bought, so i didn't want to give it to you... LOL. we thought Daniel was going to catch us... we were hiding in the car. i was so nervous... people were looking in the car and saw me and stinky laying down... you were seriously the last one out of school!but you eventually got out and went to your car... we listened to your friends make the puzzle, they were hella fussy... and you were just talking, telling them where the pieces were suppose to go. :P stinky told me to get out of the car so i did and then... the i popped up. and you were like "Beeeaaaa!"

Prom was fun, MUNDO fun! the stinkies and i had a blast at prom no lie...everyone stayed the night except for you because you had to run with the marines the next day. that was the start of everything. the sleepovers, the getting in trouble for going out hella late. the start of our summer. little did i know my summer with you was about to end.
you know i found out that you were going to boot camp during my graduation? you told all my friends and your friends except for me... but i found out because melanie and kristine felt bad that i didn't know. you always took your time with telling me things. not fair! my graduation night everyone gathered at my house and we wanted to go out. you came with your tux because you were just in a wedding! we went to the city and you were moody for some reason... we went home and i had it with you... you texted me saying you were sorry... its funny how i couldn't stay mad at you ever! but, you ended up calling me up and telling me yourself that you were going to go next week.
remember your graduation? we all went and your sister asked us to go to eat after the graduation ceremony. she was so sweet! i love angie! that night your brother-in-law wanted to swim in the COLD PACIFICA WATER! it was freezing and foggy that night. i had no idea why you decided to strip to your boxers and t-shirt. but you did... with Dom, your brother-in-law, and a few other guys. OH man! it was hilarious!
OH and Kristine's party. my favorite night ever. Kristine only invited our crew to sleep over after her debut. by this time we knew Melissa and Mike were going to go out. i was so tired. we also went to Isa's party that same night because it was in Embassy. you and me, we walked around joking and making fun of each other as always :) after the part was over we went back to the room. it was Kristine, Andy, Melanie, Mike, Melissa, You, and Me. i gave you your graduation gift and made you a card. you asked me 10 reasons why i liked you... i never answered you until that night... i wonder if you still have the card. it was pretty sexy i must say it had 65 reasons why. mostly stupid stuff but you know i love you ;] we got the couch bed... tell me why melissa and mike always got the nice hotel bed? lol. the next day you left for Hawaii.
so a week turned to a month...
a week before you had to go you had a court date, i knew they were going to send you off soon and i was preparing myself for you to go. we went to the park, you were suppose to leave on friday which was 3 days from that day... Dom pulled me aside and said "Bea, you can't tell anyone this okay, but Jordan is leaving tomorrow..." my heart SANK. you were leaving tomorrow. when me, melanie, and kristine were talking i was like dude mike hook it up with the Lowell kids. i guess you heard and took the anger out on Melanie and stinky because you were really mean to them, saying that you didn't want to hang with them and that this was your last goodbye... PUNK... you walked off and didn't say a word to any of us. then we were on the grass just chilling when you came right next to me. and you looked at Dom and you said, should i tell them. i was thinking "just tell stinky and melanie that youre leaving, hurry. do it. i dare you..." then you explained that you were leaving the next day and ended it off with JUST KIDDING! "Whaaaaaaat?" i totally ran off like someone was chasing me without saying a word! you meanie! you ran after me and tried to find me. as always you found me. that night was the first time we talked about the how we were going to handle the situation... you said, "i don't want to go anymore. why do you make it so hard for me to leave?" i told you that you had to leave because you needed to and i would be here when you come back. you said you didn't want me to wait for you, because it wasn't fair... then the whole group came looking for us! LOL. you totally scared them, when you said you couldn't find me...

we had a whole month till you had to leave to San Diego...we spent every single day together. we went to the city, beach, malls, houses most of the time doing random shit like jamming with the piano, drums, guitar, and base. LOL. i loved the summer. it was also the time when we had to practice for Kate's cotillion and you showed up. you said you needed to talk to me so i took you to my favorite place. it over looked the waters and you could see the sunset. we walked along the path and i was wearing sandals (as usual) so it was hard for me to get to the places you were at, but you helped me. i told you i hated snakes... and you did what you would do. walk off and left me stranded! geez thanks! then you pretended that a snake bit you and started screaming! LOL. and guessed what i did? i ran off... LOL i told you i hated snakes. WEIRDO! (you wanted to buy a snake to scare me "nee-ner-nee-ner-nee-ner... you never did, but i got you a wooden one from mexico i named Earnie LOL) -we got back to the car and we talked for hours. we talked about my life and your life. it amazed me that you are so strong and so responsible. we talked about your grandma, thank you so much for trusting me with your stories! our talk got serious and it got quiet. then you asked- "What are we going to do with this relationship?" and i couldn't help but look away. it hit me that you were leaving in a few weeks. we decided that we wouldn't be anything more than friends.
before you left, you asked me to be your girlfriend. stupid. it took you so long to spill it out. did you know that i had so many thoughts in my mind but you finally asked. it took you awhile as usual but you came through, all you needed was to be sure. we tried to hide it from all my friends and your friends because we didn't want to break up and have everyone me weird with us hanging out LOL. you have taught me that a guy can respect me and my values. we were good for each other. we had the same values and morals...i was able to be myself around you. you are the only guy till this day who understood me.
the night you left was so hard for me.
we spent the whole entire day, i took it off work and you came to Bible Study. then we went to your friends house. Melanie, Stinky, Melissa, Mike, Andy wanted to say bye one last time so we went to Melissa's house and watched Rex. LOL... we left at 3 because you needed to be at the airport by 6. when we were leaving everyone cried, it hit me at that moment you were leaving... the car ride home was so quiet. it was one of those quiet moments that we always talked about... comfortable silence, when everything was already said, and all you wanted was right next to you. you walked me to the door and i lost it. i prepared myself for months and i still cried. you know how i hated goodbyes so you said "its not goodbye, i'll see you later!"
Dummy, you had to play the leaving on a jet plane song!
then i had to leave for Mexico. and we wrote each other! 3 whole months of writing letters weekly. and the it was the day i was looking for San Diego. the day that decided if we should stay together or not. but we were better off as friends.
so here is my last letter. be safe, take good care of yourself okay. i need you to come back. i'm not ready for you to leave my life forever. i told you to be safe but you really need to promise me you will. be aware of your surroundings! stay alert! i love you Jonut, so do what you need to do because i will be here waiting for you to tell me all the dorky things i know youre going to do. meet new friends. learn new lessons. and come home...

like i usually end all our old letters...its not goodbye, i'll see you later :)

stay safe