I came across this post secret today and i can't help but put it on...I've been reading this book called Emotional Purity, it is a Christian book that came just at the right time. I am leading a Girl Bible Study group and its really refreshing . This first week i read 5 chapters. Chapter 1) was a story about Tracy and Mike 2) Avoiding Early Intimacy 3) Finding a Mentor 4) Guarding Your Heart 5) Defining a Friendship. There are a lot more chapters that i will be blogging about but I want to reflect on these 5 chapters first...
Emotional Purity is Guarding your heart. One of the girls asked me how can she guard her heart? How not give so much of herself... Funny thing is I'm still trying to figure that out. Ive always been taught to wait before marriage, for sex... but i have never thought about waiting emotionally as well... as women we all tend to invest in relationships, in every relationship we have, its how God made us. Guarding my heart has been one of my biggest struggles because I'm a very trusting person, i give everyone the benefit of the doubt... I say what i mean and I say what I feel. I "wear my heart on my sleeves" One part of the book states that God intended us to go "all the way" (sex) in a marriage relationship, but he also intended us to go "all the way" emotionally as well. Emotionally... its true... if you give someone your heart or even a little piece of it, how much will you have left? How much will you give your future husband or wife? this might sound cliche for Christians but, I've been trying to mend my heart and the one thing that has helped is focusing my pain and my mind on God.
I thought that Ive made the biggest mistake of my life and I thought that i wanted to change it, ask for a rewind, but after reading the Bible and searching, I've realized that everything happened for a reason. I cannot take back the things i've said, the things i've done, the things i've felt... i did my best to prove to someone that i'm a great girl and i never asked for anything back. and i realized that i'm good, i'm good alone. in relationships people should never feel like they are 2 half making a whole. relationships should be two wholes uniting as one, a greater and better one... my mistake is a lesson that i'm now teaching to younger girls so they don't make the same mistakes. and God is a gracious and merciful God. he has forgiven my past sins, my present sins, and my future sins. He is the one person who can make my heart whole...
"And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart."- Ezekiel 36: 26
I'm not saying that i'm going to never let people in, but this time around i'm going to be on guard. i've been hurt so much from boy and girl relationships. i think that guys and girls can be great friends and as girls we can fall for our best friends, but I'm guarding my heart, because no one is good enough for it just yet. when i do find that one person who deserves my heart... he will have my WHOLE heart without any of the bumps, without the bruises, without he scratches form what people have left. he will have all of it.
"Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life." - Proverbs 4: 23
